Life Advice
/Health
Asking Eric: Parents want to be included in vacation activities despite mobility challenges
Dear Eric: My husband and I have had many wonderful trips with my parents over the years. We have always invited them on our family vacations with the kids and had a, generally, wonderful time.
They are both in their 80s. I’m grateful that they are still a big part of our lives and are both able to travel, but we have noticed significant ...Read more
Asking Eric: Aging mom seems disinterested in daughters
Dear Eric: I’m writing to ask if you have any insight as to what is going on with my mother. She is 95 years old and still physically capable, although after she broke her hip and had surgery to repair it last December she uses a walker.
She still reads, does crossword puzzles, and plays bridge and Scrabble.
The issue is that she has ...Read more
Asking Eric: Newly sober friend won’t make amends
Dear Eric: My friend, “Jac” had a very public “meltdown” and was ordered to inpatient rehabilitation for his 20-year-long drug addiction. One year after his treatment, he has not changed and continues to hurt others and blame others for his many shortcomings. This is called being a “dry drunk,” when a sober person still behaves like ...Read more
Asking Eric: Bridge bully ruins game play
Dear Eric: I am a retiree in a bridge group. We have played together for many years. Because we have just enough for one table of players and play at the same person's house several days per week, we are subject to "house rules.”
This person sees herself as the teacher even though I am very proficient. She constantly replays each hand when ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband lies about his past
Dear Eric: I've been married for four years, and I recently learned that some of my husband's stories about his past are lies. I had his mom bring old pictures of him to his birthday party I put together. I asked her if she had any pictures of him from when he played college baseball. She didn't know what I was talking about.
I've suspected for...Read more
Asking Eric: Young widow left behind by spouse’s friends
Dear Eric: I am a recent young widow. My life partners' sudden death was devastating. Our friends told me I could reach out to them if I needed to talk or for help. So far, they have not been a great support network and seem to be keeping me at a distance when I do reach out to them.
I absolutely understand they may not be ready to face the ...Read more
Asking Eric: Widowed stepmother won’t return family heirlooms
Dear Eric: Ten years ago, my dad passed away, and after 25 years of marriage, within a few months, my stepmom started dating again. She is now involved with a partner who is kind and fair.
My issue is with her assumed role as conservator of my family’s things. Nothing of huge value, but of great importance to me. My father was a writer, and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friends constantly cancel on plans
Dear Eric: Over the years people have said things to me such as, "I can't go to lunch with you today after all. I'm going to go to lunch with John instead."
Or at the last minute, "I can't go to see the play with you this evening. My boyfriend says we're going someplace else."
Sometimes people fail altogether to show up for plans made in ...Read more
Asking Eric: Ex-husband becomes oversharing new coworker
Dear Eric: I got married at 23, divorced at 30. I’m now in my 40s. I don’t have much association with my ex-husband, but I do hear about him from time to time because we’re in the same industry.
Recently, my ex started working at my company as a consultant. He’s mostly remote but has about a week of in-office time once a month. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend asks partner to give up her dog
Dear Eric: My special friend and I are in our late 70’s and have lost our long-time spouses. We are blessed to have found each other on a hiking trip and for two years have been inseparable.
His family loves me and I love his family. Recently he has asked me to sell my house and move in with him.
So, what is the problem? I have a small dog, ...Read more
Asking Eric: Congregant finds pastor on dating app
Dear Eric: I saw my pastor on a dating app. This is mostly fine, because he is single and hasn’t taken a vow of chastity (that I know of). He even said in his profile that he leads a faith community. We matched and I messaged something silly. I guess he didn’t remember who I was because he messaged back and we got to talking.
I was curious ...Read more
Asking Eric: Son rejects mother’s funeral wishes
Dear Eric: Because I am getting older (80 this year), my husband and I, who have been attending funerals more frequently lately, have begun discussing our funeral/burial wishes.
We have shared some of these with our three married sons. The oldest seems to think that the funeral is for those remaining, and I should not have much to say about it....Read more
Asking Eric: Family fears causing offense with conversation about race
Dear Eric: My kids, ages 15, 18 and 23, were having a discussion about post-World War II racial discrimination while we were having dinner in an IKEA cafeteria. There was a Black family sitting directly behind us. I was concerned about them saying the words “Black people,” because I was afraid that the family might overhear the term out of ...Read more
Asking Eric: Ex-husband lets brand-new girlfriend babysit son
Dear Eric: My ex-husband has begun a relationship with a woman to whom he’s recently introduced our 10-year-old son. He shared via a very long-winded yet somehow vague text that they would be meeting during the two weeks our son was spending with him over the summer break.
Two days after this meeting, he texts again to say that his work ...Read more
Asking Eric: Others often take advantage of generous giver
Dear Eric: I am a giver. It has always been ingrained in my personality. I give and help family, friends, neighbors, perfect strangers. I am always volunteering to help in any way I can. This causes people to take advantage of me.
I am always giving and doing more for them than they do for me. When I need something, so-called friends are seldom...Read more
Asking Eric: Angry nephew forbids aunt from seeing her dying sister
Dear Eric: My sister suffered a catastrophic medical event and was put on life support.
When we arrived at the hospital, we were shocked to find that my 33-year-old nephew had the hospital put a “block” on my sister's chart that forbade us from seeing her unless he was there.
When he was 20 years old, he sent me an email telling me how he ...Read more
Asking Eric: Widower finds love with married friend
Dear Eric: My wife of 44 years passed away after a 6-year battle with cancer. During that time, she said that with all the billions of people on the planet, I could surely find someone else to love. And that I had her permission.
After an appropriate time of mourning, I went on a dating site and met a lot of lovely women. One in particular has ...Read more
Asking Eric: Overeager relatives mar family visit
Dear Eric: We recently hosted a relative and his wife for a few days. They are longtime friends and their children are our children's contemporaries.
During their visit, the wife talked incessantly, sharing stories about their family members in great detail. In our efforts to reciprocate with some updates about our family, the wife would ...Read more
Asking Eric: Mandatory mental health days stress employee
Dear Eric: Once a year, the company I work for encourages a day off from work spent with coworkers labeled as a "mental health day."
To me this would be OK if we didn't spend so much time together at work. I work 40 hours a week with these people. I spend eight hours a day with them whereas I only spend about six hours with my family.
We all ...Read more
Asking Eric: Noisy neighbor kids mar backyard oasis
Dear Eric: After working 50 years, I recently retired. At the same time, the house next door to us was sold to a family with six children, ranging in age from newborn to 10 years old.
We do not have large lots. What was once my backyard oasis (I garden, read, and swim) is now a nightmare. Children literally screaming. I don't know what to do. ...Read more












