ArcaMax

Dear Annie: I am 22 and working at my first job out of college. My salary is low and just covers my rent, car payments and basic living expenses. I have no savings yet.

Recently, my neighbor, whom I know only to wave at, asked me to feed her fish while she went out of town. I agreed, and she took me into her apartment where she showed me her aquarium. She switched on the tank light and demonstrated how to sprinkle fish food on the water. She didn't give me her phone number.

When I went into her apartment the next day to feed the fish, it was pitch dark, with all her curtains closed and no lights on. Her apartment has a different layout than mine, and I had trouble finding a light switch. I finally was able to turn on a lamp across the room. When I tried to turn on the aquarium light, I had to adjust a couple of different knobs before the light came on. I fed the fish and left that light on for my next visit.

When my neighbor returned, she came knocking on my door, very upset, and said that all her fish were dead from overheating! She asked if I had turned up the thermostat in her aquarium. I said I honestly didn't know that aquariums had heaters, but that it was possible that I had inadvertently changed the thermostat when I had tried to turn on the tank light in the dark apartment.

My neighbor kept repeating that her dead fish had been very expensive. I kept apologizing, but I didn't offer to pay for them because (1) It was purely an accident, (2) I was doing her a favor, (3) I didn't even know her name, and (4) I had no money to spare. She no longer says hello, which doesn't really affect me. Was I in the wrong in this situation? I was just trying to be a good neighbor, and it backfired. -- Fishy Issue

Dear Fishy Issue: You weren't wrong, but let's be honest: You probably did kill her fish.

Accidents are still accidents, and here the blame is genuinely shared. She left you alone in a dark, unfamiliar apartment with complex equipment, no written instructions and no way to reach her. That's not responsible ownership, and it's setting you up to fail.

You owe her a sincere apology, which it sounds like you've already given. You don't owe her a check. A good-faith favor gone wrong doesn't come with an invoice.

If she'd like to repair the relationship, she might start by acknowledging her own role in this. The cold shoulder suggests she'd rather have a villain than a neighbor -- and that tells you something useful about whether this friendship was ever in the cards.

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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.