Person Struggles With Insecurity After Being Ghosted
DEAR HARRIETTE: I got out of a five-year relationship eight months ago and finally felt like I was ready to get back out there. I signed up for a dating app and matched with a guy. We talked for about a week and decided to meet up. However, he wasn't responsive the day of the date. I checked in multiple times, but after not hearing back, I knew he was ghosting me and that the date was off. This felt like a big setback for me as my last relationship really affected my confidence, and I spent months trying to heal and convince myself that I was worthy of love and companionship. I finally worked up the courage to go on this date, only to end up feeling rejected before it even happened. I always feel so unwanted when it comes to romantic relationships, and it leaves me feeling empty. I watch as my friends and family members have found partners who do anything for them and are so deeply in love with them. I know ghosting is common these days, but I can't help but take it personally. I feel embarrassed for getting excited and telling my friends about the date beforehand. How do I stop feeling this need to seek romantic validation and just be content with loving myself? -- Ghosted
DEAR GHOSTED: Know that his behavior is common even though it is cruel. Chalk it up to a bad match, and lick your wounds. Next time, be measured. If it happens, observe him without being too excited. You can even talk to a date about the mishaps of app dating to see his perspective. Bottom line: Do not take it personally.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My niece broke her arm while I was watching her, and now my sister said that she doesn't trust me to babysit her anymore. I feel horrible about how it went down, and I feel as if it wasn't for a lack of care. We were at the playground, and my niece was on the monkey bars, which she is very good at. She often does a lot of tricks on them because she is a gymnast. Unfortunately, her hand slipped and she fell off. I immediately went to help her and brought her to the emergency room when I saw something was definitely wrong with her arm. I stayed with her the entire time at the hospital and felt awful seeing her scared and in pain. Thankfully, the doctors said she is going to heal fine, but I have been struggling emotionally ever since. I completely understand why my sister was upset and protective, but she made comments about how she "can't trust me" with her daughter anymore, and that really crushed me. I love my niece dearly and have always tried to be a responsible and caring aunt. How do I make my sister trust me again with my niece? -- Broken Trust
DEAR BROKEN TRUST: Give your sister time. She is upset about her daughter's accident. Naturally, she blames you. Bite your tongue. Let her go through her emotions. When she has settled, apologize again. Remind her of how much you love her and your niece, and offer to watch your niece again when needed. Allow time to heal this wound.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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